so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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