i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
