scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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