so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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