im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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