I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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