I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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