Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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