Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
