Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
