guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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