ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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