There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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