Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
