"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
