We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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