I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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