so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
