thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
