I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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