bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
