I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
