i don't like sucking hair
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I AM VODKA MAN
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
