big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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