you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
