Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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