it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well, you know. whores of a feather.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
