She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
