I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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