bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
