I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
