She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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