honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
