I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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