Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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