I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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