careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
