sarcasm needs its own font
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
