Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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