ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sarcasm needs its own font
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
