I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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