I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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