no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
