My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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