I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
