ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
