this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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