Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
