Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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