You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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