He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
