why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
