Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I looked at my own cervix.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
