1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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